I thought I loved you then...

So, can you believe Miss K is almost one? I can't! This week a year ago I was preparing to see her for the first time on a sonogram and a year later here she sits next to me as I type this munching on her banana and feeding the ones she doesn't want to Jada.

Last year I loved the idea of Miss K, I love the thought of having a baby girl. I love the thought of being a mommy and Andy being a daddy. I loved the idea of bows, tutus, and everything pink. I was all in and ready for the ride of a lifetime :)

The things I longed for are great! I do love having a baby girl. She feels like she was destined to be mine. I love Andy and I as mommy and daddy. We make a great team and our love for each other has grown and deepened in ways I didn't know it could. We have lived up to the bows, tutus and lots of pink...but there is so much more!

I didn't know then that I was going to love all her funny babbling. I love how she joins in the conversation just like we can understand everything she is saying. I love how she loves on Jada and wants to play with her all the time. I love how she is curious about the smallest details and how she is determined to do things even when they look hard or challenging. I love her excitement when she tries new foods and the faces she makes when she is not a fan. I love how she picks up on new tricks every day and wants to show them off for you. I love that in the mornings she wants nothing more than to cuddle with me (that's good because I need my cuddles in the mornings). I love as soon as she is done eating she rubs her grimy hands through her hair and then throws her excess food on the floor for Jada. I love that she treats our living room as a jungle gym and crawls over and over pillows, stuffed animals, or people depending on whats in her way...

I didn't know then that her tears would pierce my heart the way they do. I didn't know that when she was sick I would feel helpless and want nothing more than for her to feel better. I didn't know then that the mere presence of her would make me feel content. I didn't know that my evening routine was about to triple in length but that it would be some of the best moments in my whole day. I didn't know how hard changing an almost 1 year old's diaper would be. I didn't know how much of an independent little girl she would be...

I have been working on Miss K's baby book and it has officially made me a sap! I am obsessed with looking at it. I look at pictures of when we were in the hospital and I remember not wanting to take my eyes off of her. I remember just sleeping and holding her on my chest. I remember the first time getting to look at her. I then remember the 8 weeks that followed with lots of cuddling and netflix. I remember this summer getting to take her to the pool for the first time, sitting in the grass for the first time, and all of the firsts in between them. I remember when she rolled over for the first time and I made her do it over and over to make sure it was real. Then when she sat up for the first time, crawled, pulled up, and standing on her own...all of these times have been special. All of the first holidays, all of the meeting people for the first time, all of the things we have done over this past year and all the love that has filled our home! Then the song came on I thought I loved you then...and I couldn't help but think back to that hospital room and how full my heart was then to today and how I didn't know my heart could love her more and each day it grows more.

This has been a year worth all the tears, prayers, and waiting that led up to it. This year has been the most beautiful thing I have ever experience as a person, in my marriage, and as a family! Here's to many many more years of looking back and thinking, I thought I loved you then...and watching my love grow even more!

God is GOOD!