Do you happen to know how many times I say this phrase over and over again in a day? A.LOT.
I have a very independent 3 year old and a sibling set who the oldest (3) is comfortable and confident in being the parent of her other siblings and anyone else who will let her. So multiple times a day when someone needs help or a dispute occurs (I know you are shocked to hear those happen in our perfect family) I find my 3 year olds ready to duke it out and parent the smaller children. They love to help even when their help looks like dragging the baby by her hair across the floor or "moving" the two year old to a place out of their way, or dressing their siblings forcefully because they themselves have not completely mastered the art of dressing themselves...whatever the situation I find myself multiple times a day telling them to let me parent or trust me to be the mommy. It has gotten WAY better than it was in the beginning but still days (mainly after visits) we struggle in this way all of us desperately trying to find our place and role in this family. Tonight I was driving and it was like a light bulb went off...
You know I find myself doing this same dang thing with God. So many times I think I know best. So many things I try and am confident if I just can fix it before He intervenes that it is better that way. I find myself getting exhausted trying to control situations that were never mine to control. I wonder if God is saying the same things to me...LET.ME.PARENT. Trust me enough to know I have your back. Trust me enough to know that I will protect you from harm, guide you as you grow, and love you to the moon and back. Let Me be in control and you sit back and be my child. The peace I feel when I think of wrestling with those statements with God and what my life would look life if I lived by those truths...that's the peace I long for my girls to find. The peace that just lets them be children. The light heartedness that just comes from being loved. You don't have to parent, just be my child. You don't have to be in charge, just trust that I am working on your behalf. You don't have to make things happen, I can make them happen...
I am in a journey with God to know this trust full well and my girls are in the same journey also trying to believe these things...
One thing is for sure...it is a Journey
Friday, July 15, 2016
Thursday, July 7, 2016
These beautiful, beautiful children...
This morning I have time to blog. The babies are on a visit, daddy is hanging out with K-ditty and I am re-energizing in the coffee shop. I am fighting for time to bless my soul, crack my Bible, listen to worship music, and drink some caffeine. While I am processing my life today I thought I would take time to tell you about my beautiful babies now that I have had time to get to know them and them to get to know us.
First is K-Pickle...if you have been on this journey for awhile you know that she is an incredible human. She is so kind hearted, so thoughtful, smart, and full of joy. That girl loves to sing (If I am being honest I have to control my anger when that child decides to sing at the top of her lungs at 5:30 in the am and wake up all the babies...but the girl loves to sing) She knows many songs but her favorite seems to be where is thumpkin, this little light of mine, and the batman theme song. She loves arts and crafts, getting dirty, and playing with friends. Her favorite human is still her friend Allison. Kadence is doing really well with this transition to a large family. She throws fits, has days of not being able to share, hitting, whining (she is still three) but there is also an over abundance of maturity and watching her be able to process what is going on. With her sisters she loves to play dress up, play outside, and run circles in the house all while giggling at the top of her lungs. Kadence loves that there are more birthday parties to go to and that there is never a dull moment at the house. I think Andy and I have been doing a great job of making sure she still gets mommy/daddy dates and hang out just us. So all things considered (that whole being three thing) K-pickle is ever-growing into a human I am proud to call my daughter.
L1- L1 just turned three yesterday. The thought of having 2 three year olds kind of makes me want to rock back and forth in the fetal position. L1 has come so far since coming to live with us almost 2 months ago. When we got her she couldn't be in the same room with our dogs (it was a long month) or K-ditty for that matter, she couldn't do baths, she couldn't share, she melted down in 3 seconds flat, she bit, she hit, she could scream...well she can still scream...an ear piercing scream...it's intense. Anyway it has been hard. It has tested my ability to stay calm and speak with love (I have not excelled on every occasion). But sometime after she called me ratchet we had a little understanding...I don't know if that was the turning point but it's a good point of reference. L1 now loves to snuggle (which this momma bear loves), she loves to be held, she loves to sing Jesus Loves Me (a song that she didn't know when she moved in). She loves to help pick up, vacuum and make things. She can now pet puppies and even had a puppy birthday party. She has learned increasingly how to use her words and we are figuring out her triggers. Her biggest one currently seems to be speech. If that girl could make everyone understand her a lot of her world would seem less chaotic. We are working on it- so far we have taught her to say no thank you when a sister or friend is doing something that she doesn't like (she tries it on the dogs but they just aren't getting it). We have also worked on asking for help BEFORE you get frustrated. Both of these have helped her to not have as many fits, tantrums, biting, hitting. L1 loves to learn, loves the color blue, and is currently obsessed with Grandma Joy's dog crazy.
L2- L2 turned 2 a month ago and dang she is incredible! We have had a special bond since the beginning. When we got L2 she had no sparkle in her eye. She was stand-off ish and mean mugged every human we met. I thought it was cute but I knew she wasn't feeling it. About a week in we took another picture of her and there was SUCH a difference in her appearance. It was like new life had been breathed into her. That mean mug never seems to come out anymore unless we are taking selfies and I ask her to show it to me. There are more smiles and pure belly laughs that come from that girl. She has an obsession to buckle everything she sees...strollers, car seats, booster seats...the girl can't get enough of it. She also is nick named tumble weed and Houdini- one for how she barrels through obstacles and usually falls (we are working on it) and Houdini...well because she is quick, and is always in to somethings. She loves to climb on tables, chairs, or anything else that would make me have a heart attack. She loves to sing twinkle twinkle. She loves to eat...it's not clean...it's never clean...but she LOVES to eat. Then when everyone is done she likes to eat their leftovers and then drink everyones left over drinks too. She is ornery but in the sweetest ways. This girl is also the comforter. When the three year olds are throwing fits she wants to sit right next to them and try to give them hugs (which makes them even more angry), if anyone is in time out she wants to sit with them...she is just so stinking funny. There are few things I love more than when she comes running down the stairs to see daddy after he has worked and he's in the kitchen getting their breakfast ready and she squeals with delight. Or when she embraces me with everything in her and nestles her fro into my chest. My heart melts for this girl...
L3- L3 will be one next month (yes if you are counting that is 3 birthdays in 3 months). This little one when we got her was so laid back and easy and not concerned or cared who had her. Well I cured that by holding her 24/7 and giving her loads of snuggles...it worked...she now wants to be with me all the time. L3 is in that fun age where she still desperately needs me to do everything for her but is starting to feel some independence (I am confident she will be walking any day). She came to us with one tooth stating to break in and now has 4 on top and 3 on bottom. She sleeps through the night most nights and when she doesn't I secretly love our late night convos and snuggles. I love how much she laughs! Andy loves putting her to sleep letting her listen to Hallelujah. She loves to crawl (and that girl is fast), she loves peek a boo, loves kiddie pools, the trampoline, and man she loves having sisters...they plow her over sometimes but when they are running around the house she squeals and bounces out of delight. She can spit up with the best of them and I am always the one that gets sprayed it seems...it's nasty but worth it :) Everyone fights over who gets to snuggle L3 cause she is just so scrumptious and the baby of the family. All the sisters love playing with L3 especially L2 whose idea of play is to just be where she is. So if she is in her carseat L2 sits on her, if she is in the exersaucer L2 climbs in too, if she is in the high chair...you guessed it L2 climbs in too.
So our house is crazy but it's the best kind of crazy. It's crazy love, crazy teaching, crazy intentional, crazy exhausting, but crazy worth it. Andy and I are doing an awesome job (in my humble opinion) of making time for each other, being team players, and laughing at the things that come. After 9 years of marriage if your not married you would think how much closer can two people get but for people that are married you get it when I say I love this man more today than I did yesterday. Each day is more fun, each day we are more of a team than the day before, and we are closer than ever.We are more comfortable now in our role of mom and dad of lots of kiddos. We have both done bedtime by ourselves, gotten them ready by ourselves, and taken them in public by ourselves. We are figuring this out and continuing to find the rhythm for our family.
As far as prayers and needs go-
Prayers- We desperately need prayers for the coming month...it has the potential to be a life changing month for our whole family. Lots of things are happening in our case and I want to be able to share them more but what I can do is ask for prayers...prayers as things move...Prayers for our girls that we would be excellent advocates of their needs and that we would love all of them well and that on a daily basis we are welcoming the holy spirit into our home.
Ways to help-I am not good at this part but people keep asking and because I am not good at asking this is the best I can do being transparent- we don't need any clothes( all though I am a sucker for matching clothes...and if that's the case it's not really a need is it- LOL, beds, toys, etc currently (thank you for all the requests). If you are still wanting to get involved in our crazy story we will always welcome diapers (3,4,5,3t/4t pull ups) and wipes (any kind). We will always welcome toddler snacks. We do all our grocery shopping at Hyvee currently (because they take WIC and it's easier to do all our shopping in one place) and Costco. We will always welcome Lavender, balance, and serenity essential oils (hahaha- they kind of go non stop in our home). Miralax and the little yogurt bear probiotics we go through a ton of too. If you ever want to hang out with our kiddos so that we can go on a date, run errands, take someone to the doctor, or date one of our kiddos while you hang with the others. If you ever want to take our dogs on a walk, or give us a hug...we will always embrace community. My house always needs to be cleaned, dishes need to be done, booster seats scrubbed, and clothes hung up (it's our reality). If you have a special idea and you want to spoil one of our kiddos, we will let you. We will never turn down more people loving on our girls...this also applies to my older girls. If you want to spend time building into them, I would love it. I also sometime need help transporting my teenager to independence for visits and sometimes depending on visit date/times that is really hard. In regard to visits I also need an "Oh shit" plan for those dates when I have things schedule that I can't change, andy's sleeping, and then the visits get cancelled and I need to rearrange life really really quickly. This is us being vulnerable...
We can't do it all...but we can love well, we can be intentional, we can lean on Jesus, we can take it one day at a time, and we can do this in community with others
First is K-Pickle...if you have been on this journey for awhile you know that she is an incredible human. She is so kind hearted, so thoughtful, smart, and full of joy. That girl loves to sing (If I am being honest I have to control my anger when that child decides to sing at the top of her lungs at 5:30 in the am and wake up all the babies...but the girl loves to sing) She knows many songs but her favorite seems to be where is thumpkin, this little light of mine, and the batman theme song. She loves arts and crafts, getting dirty, and playing with friends. Her favorite human is still her friend Allison. Kadence is doing really well with this transition to a large family. She throws fits, has days of not being able to share, hitting, whining (she is still three) but there is also an over abundance of maturity and watching her be able to process what is going on. With her sisters she loves to play dress up, play outside, and run circles in the house all while giggling at the top of her lungs. Kadence loves that there are more birthday parties to go to and that there is never a dull moment at the house. I think Andy and I have been doing a great job of making sure she still gets mommy/daddy dates and hang out just us. So all things considered (that whole being three thing) K-pickle is ever-growing into a human I am proud to call my daughter.
L1- L1 just turned three yesterday. The thought of having 2 three year olds kind of makes me want to rock back and forth in the fetal position. L1 has come so far since coming to live with us almost 2 months ago. When we got her she couldn't be in the same room with our dogs (it was a long month) or K-ditty for that matter, she couldn't do baths, she couldn't share, she melted down in 3 seconds flat, she bit, she hit, she could scream...well she can still scream...an ear piercing scream...it's intense. Anyway it has been hard. It has tested my ability to stay calm and speak with love (I have not excelled on every occasion). But sometime after she called me ratchet we had a little understanding...I don't know if that was the turning point but it's a good point of reference. L1 now loves to snuggle (which this momma bear loves), she loves to be held, she loves to sing Jesus Loves Me (a song that she didn't know when she moved in). She loves to help pick up, vacuum and make things. She can now pet puppies and even had a puppy birthday party. She has learned increasingly how to use her words and we are figuring out her triggers. Her biggest one currently seems to be speech. If that girl could make everyone understand her a lot of her world would seem less chaotic. We are working on it- so far we have taught her to say no thank you when a sister or friend is doing something that she doesn't like (she tries it on the dogs but they just aren't getting it). We have also worked on asking for help BEFORE you get frustrated. Both of these have helped her to not have as many fits, tantrums, biting, hitting. L1 loves to learn, loves the color blue, and is currently obsessed with Grandma Joy's dog crazy.
L2- L2 turned 2 a month ago and dang she is incredible! We have had a special bond since the beginning. When we got L2 she had no sparkle in her eye. She was stand-off ish and mean mugged every human we met. I thought it was cute but I knew she wasn't feeling it. About a week in we took another picture of her and there was SUCH a difference in her appearance. It was like new life had been breathed into her. That mean mug never seems to come out anymore unless we are taking selfies and I ask her to show it to me. There are more smiles and pure belly laughs that come from that girl. She has an obsession to buckle everything she sees...strollers, car seats, booster seats...the girl can't get enough of it. She also is nick named tumble weed and Houdini- one for how she barrels through obstacles and usually falls (we are working on it) and Houdini...well because she is quick, and is always in to somethings. She loves to climb on tables, chairs, or anything else that would make me have a heart attack. She loves to sing twinkle twinkle. She loves to eat...it's not clean...it's never clean...but she LOVES to eat. Then when everyone is done she likes to eat their leftovers and then drink everyones left over drinks too. She is ornery but in the sweetest ways. This girl is also the comforter. When the three year olds are throwing fits she wants to sit right next to them and try to give them hugs (which makes them even more angry), if anyone is in time out she wants to sit with them...she is just so stinking funny. There are few things I love more than when she comes running down the stairs to see daddy after he has worked and he's in the kitchen getting their breakfast ready and she squeals with delight. Or when she embraces me with everything in her and nestles her fro into my chest. My heart melts for this girl...
L3- L3 will be one next month (yes if you are counting that is 3 birthdays in 3 months). This little one when we got her was so laid back and easy and not concerned or cared who had her. Well I cured that by holding her 24/7 and giving her loads of snuggles...it worked...she now wants to be with me all the time. L3 is in that fun age where she still desperately needs me to do everything for her but is starting to feel some independence (I am confident she will be walking any day). She came to us with one tooth stating to break in and now has 4 on top and 3 on bottom. She sleeps through the night most nights and when she doesn't I secretly love our late night convos and snuggles. I love how much she laughs! Andy loves putting her to sleep letting her listen to Hallelujah. She loves to crawl (and that girl is fast), she loves peek a boo, loves kiddie pools, the trampoline, and man she loves having sisters...they plow her over sometimes but when they are running around the house she squeals and bounces out of delight. She can spit up with the best of them and I am always the one that gets sprayed it seems...it's nasty but worth it :) Everyone fights over who gets to snuggle L3 cause she is just so scrumptious and the baby of the family. All the sisters love playing with L3 especially L2 whose idea of play is to just be where she is. So if she is in her carseat L2 sits on her, if she is in the exersaucer L2 climbs in too, if she is in the high chair...you guessed it L2 climbs in too.
So our house is crazy but it's the best kind of crazy. It's crazy love, crazy teaching, crazy intentional, crazy exhausting, but crazy worth it. Andy and I are doing an awesome job (in my humble opinion) of making time for each other, being team players, and laughing at the things that come. After 9 years of marriage if your not married you would think how much closer can two people get but for people that are married you get it when I say I love this man more today than I did yesterday. Each day is more fun, each day we are more of a team than the day before, and we are closer than ever.We are more comfortable now in our role of mom and dad of lots of kiddos. We have both done bedtime by ourselves, gotten them ready by ourselves, and taken them in public by ourselves. We are figuring this out and continuing to find the rhythm for our family.
As far as prayers and needs go-
Prayers- We desperately need prayers for the coming month...it has the potential to be a life changing month for our whole family. Lots of things are happening in our case and I want to be able to share them more but what I can do is ask for prayers...prayers as things move...Prayers for our girls that we would be excellent advocates of their needs and that we would love all of them well and that on a daily basis we are welcoming the holy spirit into our home.
Ways to help-I am not good at this part but people keep asking and because I am not good at asking this is the best I can do being transparent- we don't need any clothes( all though I am a sucker for matching clothes...and if that's the case it's not really a need is it- LOL, beds, toys, etc currently (thank you for all the requests). If you are still wanting to get involved in our crazy story we will always welcome diapers (3,4,5,3t/4t pull ups) and wipes (any kind). We will always welcome toddler snacks. We do all our grocery shopping at Hyvee currently (because they take WIC and it's easier to do all our shopping in one place) and Costco. We will always welcome Lavender, balance, and serenity essential oils (hahaha- they kind of go non stop in our home). Miralax and the little yogurt bear probiotics we go through a ton of too. If you ever want to hang out with our kiddos so that we can go on a date, run errands, take someone to the doctor, or date one of our kiddos while you hang with the others. If you ever want to take our dogs on a walk, or give us a hug...we will always embrace community. My house always needs to be cleaned, dishes need to be done, booster seats scrubbed, and clothes hung up (it's our reality). If you have a special idea and you want to spoil one of our kiddos, we will let you. We will never turn down more people loving on our girls...this also applies to my older girls. If you want to spend time building into them, I would love it. I also sometime need help transporting my teenager to independence for visits and sometimes depending on visit date/times that is really hard. In regard to visits I also need an "Oh shit" plan for those dates when I have things schedule that I can't change, andy's sleeping, and then the visits get cancelled and I need to rearrange life really really quickly. This is us being vulnerable...
We can't do it all...but we can love well, we can be intentional, we can lean on Jesus, we can take it one day at a time, and we can do this in community with others
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