The dance of adoption emotions...

In just the short amount of time we have been on this journey (I type this for my benefit because if feels like FOREVER to me) I have learned so much about emotions that are wrapped around adoption and this dance of highs and lows I seem to get daily...

First and foremost there is excitement, laughter, dreaming, praising, wonderment, and awe...This part of the dance brings tears, lots of journaling, praying, pinterest, talking to my mom, day dreaming, planning nurseries, picking out names, talking about answered prayers, and looking at bows/feathers/bling and other assorted fun necessities that come with a baby girl...

Then a close second is the curiosity of how it will all go- will the baby come on her due date? Before? After? Will Birth mom sign the papers right at 48 hours? Will we get a court date that day? Where will the baby be when we get the temporary custody paper? At the hospital? In foster care? What will her first few days at home be like? Will we have everything ready? How will Andy and I adjust? How will Jada adjust? What does my role with the birth mom look like after that day? How do I respect and honor her grieving and still be true to my emotional roller coaster that I am on?

Then just as the questions flow out, there slips in the fear and the what ifs. What if Birth Mom changes her mind? What if I leave that hospital without a baby and have to come back home...this line of questioning throws me into a spiral of emotions and crying out to God and it gets pretty ugly. Thankfully thus far this third set of emotions is few and far between and I normally stay in the first two chunks of emotions...

Initially I thought 10 weeks would go by so quick but it feels like time is slowing progressing at a screeching halt...

I did meet with our social worker last week and I learned some things-
1. After Birth Mom gives birth in the state of Missouri they have to wait 48 hours before approaching her about signing the release. Then the lawyer goes to her (if she is in the hospital or at home) and the Birth Mom can sign her papers. At this point we are give a court date (they try to get it as close to the 48 hours as possible) and Birth Mom signs rights over and Andy and I then have a court date 15minutes later to take over the rights. They then give us a piece of paper that says temporary custody and we can go and pick up our baby girl either at the hospital or at foster care depending on how much time has passed. At first I was determined that if at all possible the baby would not go to foster care. After talking to our social worker she said that the foster care is a little old grandma whose whole job is to watch baby's out of the hospital till their court date. 1-2 days depending on what day the baby is born. She also said that we can go to the foster care worker's house and be with the baby the whole time the baby is there.
2. After the Temporary Custody is given an add is put out in a paper (not the KC Star but a little paper that is only available at the courthouse) and an add is ran for baby daddy to make contact. If he does not respond in 30 days we make a motion that he didn't make an attempt to contact, again at 60 days and then again at 6months. At 6 months we are given another court date and that is when the adoption is finalized and new birth certificates are issued.

That's what I have so far...

Things to pray about-
* These dang emotions...that God would be my focus and not these emotions
* Pray for Andy and I as we continue to prepare our hearts, lifestyle, and home for a newborn
* That God would continue to solidify birth mom's heart for adoption and prepare her heart for labor and delivery and seeing the baby for the first time
*Pray for the 48hours, getting a court time, signing the papers, and all of the legalities that come with an infant adoption.
*Pray for are continued interaction with Birth Mom and her family that we would continue to be a good fit and that we would journey through this together.