Wait is the name of this game...

I have learned and am learning that I am impatient. We are not even to Kadence's due date and every morning I am like "Okay God, if today's the day...I'm ready...prepare my heart to meet this little girl, and protect birth mom and Kadence's during delivery and let everyone be safe. And please God while Kadence is waiting will you tell her how much I love her." then by noon my prayer sounds a bit more like, "Okay, God I'm serious I would love to go to the hospital today, I want to hold this little girl, will you tell her I am thinking about her? I know you know her birthdate...is there anyway you could share this with me? Gosh God, I am so excited!" and then by dinner and more so at bedtime my prayer looks like, "God Please! I need her here! I can't take it any longer! I'm so impatient! I'm sorry Lord that I just can't let you be in control. You already know Kadence's birthday and obviously it is not today. Please give me peace in this journey. It is so hard to love her, want her, and not be with her. Please comfort birth mom tonight as she tries to sleep and God that she too would know how much we love Kadence and how grateful we are to her for her decision. God let her know we love her too!" and then somewhere in there I fall asleep...this seems to be my daily rhythm...Then add in the random phone calls and texts of "where's that baby?" "is there a baby yet?" "anything?" and my impatience sky rockets...this is worse than the night before my wedding, worse than before any christmas...the want, the anticipation, the excitement, the fear, the love, the tears, the anxiety, the unknown. I have never in my whole life wanted something as bad as I want this little girl! So here I sit, praying, confessing my impatience, and holding on to the hope that God has this all taken care of and that Kadence will come at the exact right time, right day, in the right circumstances, and that God is taking care of all of the details. I'm trusting in Him this morning. Without Him this dream would always have stayed a dream. Every step, we have moved with Him leading, with Him in control. I know that all babies are miracles but this baby girl seems to have a very special place in God's heart as He orchestrates all the finite details of her story and weaves them together ever so perfectly so that NO ONE can deny that He is at work here and not us. He is in control, He is in control, He is in control...and I breathe in and breathe out and say it again...He is in control

Prayers for this week-

1. PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY be praying for it all- for the due date, for Kadence, for Birth Mom, for Andy and I and our families, for Birth Mom's family, for the doctors, for the nurses, for the lawyers, for the judge, for the details, for the emotions, for this journey...