On the brink of tears! This morning I am chucking it off to being a girl but as I sit here and do some self reflecting I am OVERWHELMED by God's goodness, faithfulness, and how He knows me right here in Lee's Summit. He knows my struggles, the things I worry about, the things I long for, the things that take up way too much space in my heart, and the things that I wrestle with on a daily basis. I know this full well and there are some days like to today that I am overwhelmed by His love for me...and I can't even process that the way He loves me, He loves ALL of his children, ALL of the people sitting in starbucks with me, ALL the people that I worked with last night, and ALL the people in my community. That is just too big for my simple mind. I can't fathom all of that. What I can tell you is how God has crashed into my life lately and tell you that I am grateful!
*In friendship. It's not a secret that I struggle with being lonely. It's not a secret that my two best friends are no where near remotely close to me. I have LONGED for them, my heart aches to be with them. As corny as it sounds I feel complete when they are around...they are good for my soul. They make me a better mom, wife, and follower of Jesus. God is blessing my relationship with them because I am FINALLY figuring out how to have long distance relationships (anyone that has known me for awhile knows that I function very much in the out of sight out of mind mentality when it comes to friends- I don't do it on purpose but I do it). I have figured out that I can have phone calls even though the time difference. I have figured out that facebook messages really do give you warm fuzzies when that is your only way to communicate. I have figured out how to feel "connected" even though I can't see them. With this more connectedness comes this need to fall on my face before Jesus on their behalf. Now there is praying for someone (saying grace or bedtime prayers ;) ) and then there is PRAYing. (at least this is true for me- I am sure that over coffee we could have this long theological discussion about what is prayer, how you talk to God, etc) In my life my PRAYing its my reckless abandonment after God's heart. It's everything inside me causing me to lay at the feet of Jesus and weep on their behalf. In my house it looks like a rug. It looks like no one being home and I physically lay on the floor and become like this heap on the floor but on someone elses behalf (okay so now I sound creepy) but I have so seen God show up and bless these women, bless our friendship, and show me that there is abundance in praying for your friends. Prayer makes the distance not seem so far. God has healed my heart in this area and now I have experienced beautiful friendship and also seen how God is crashing into all of our lives.
*My marriage. My husband is amazing! If you read this a lot or if you know me you know that I am ridiculously in love with that man! We have been married for 7 years (next week) and I have had this same school girl crush on him 12 years! I journaled for the first time in 2005 that I knew he was going to be my husband. Our marriage is fun and he is my favorite person in the whole world. I don't tell you this for social media bragging but I tell you the truth in that he's my person. As much as I daydreamed of being his wife 10 years ago, I still to this day day dream about this man. He is sexy, selfless, and a crazy great husband and dad. I pray for him too and lately I have seen the specific things I have been praying for showing up in his daily life. I pray for him daily as he has a dangerous job and so I pray for him everyday as he heads out to work and then again every time I hear a siren. Lately I have been moved to pray for his relationship with God and that it just wouldn't just be there but that he would be passionate about it and that it would be at the forefront of his mind. I prayed for how he leads our house, that he would feel encouraged, that I would be the helpmeet he needed. That he too would be surrounded by godly men that were passionate about God's word and that while he was at work he would be able to see God working. So I have been watching my husband (not creepily-lol) and I have noticed that the conversations he is initiating are more bathed in God's word, he is quoting scripture more, and that when I ask him about work there are more and more days that he says, "you know I could see every call tonight was orchestrated by God and His timing". Andy at his bare minimum, at his core, is missional and selfless. I know God made him that way but he can even feel "distant" from Jesus and still live his life that way. The fruit of the spirit that I am seeing from my husband is beautiful and something that only Jesus does. I am proud to watch him lead our house and watch him father our little girl. God is crashing into his life- giving him boldness, tenderness, and a passion for His word.
*At work. I have a great job! This year has been hard but we have persevered and have seen His abundant blessing. These last two months I can't deny seeing God's hand daily at work. From God's timing of how every piece of our move, demolition, strategic planning, etc has meticulously fallen into place. Days when I would go to bed saying "really?" and then the next day something better than MY plan the day before comes through. Most people know we are getting ready to do a move at work. I need to hire more staff, I need to raise funds (only like $100,000 before August 1-lol), I need to grow my volunteer base to triple what it is currently. My strategic plan for one year is what most organizations would propose for 5 years. I am not naive as I set out on this journey or underestimate what it will take to achieve these things. But from the timing on checks coming in on the exact day that they need to or teams of volunteers coming in at certain times. Little things like furniture being on ridiculous sales, to interns coming in at the exact right time, to winning business of the year just a couple weeks before we are launching our business sponsorships. We are witnessing a God bathed world in a very secular world. Every day when I get in the car on the way to work, I tell God this is your strategic plan-not mine. You already know every last donor, volunteer, and teen that is going to walk through my door. You know what staff will be hired, what the space will look like, how everything will unfold. And He does and it does and I stand in awe.
*Miss K. She is great! She is so smart and always learning. I sit back and think of my journey to Kadence often. I think about how every step was ordained by God. I have been praying and thinking about how to raise a child as she continues to grow that loves Jesus and how if she can memorize Frozen's Let it Go she should be able to memorize other things. I have been pondering this and living in a learning posture of what does raising a daughter that loves Jesus look like. God has been faithful in putting some great resources and people in my path as great examples. And so I sit and watch crash into her life too.
I tell you all of this because it would be VERY easy to look at this and be like "Oh, Kylie has been having a couple of good months" but I see it completely differently. I look at it as God knowing my heart, knowing the things I long for and Him coming crashing into my life. He is blessing my life, my friendships, my home, my marriage, and my work. It doesn't mean that we don't currently have a car that has a blown head gasket, or that my husband didn't have a hard week at work, or that my body isn't exhausted from working long hours, chasing a toddler, and trying to keep up but when you step back to reflect in worship in his goodness the little things (or big things) just drift into the distance and I am refreshed and filled up with my God bathed world where Jesus comes crashing in and loving on the people in my life. Prayer is beautiful and today I am choosing to bask in His goodness and live in His abundance.
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