The vulnerability of a sign...

So I usually use this blog to write about my journey with my daughter but today it's work...Today God is working through the vulnerability of a sign.

I got the proof. It came. The sign. The sign that says Pro Deo Youth Center. It has our logo. It's going up for the world to see. It's an accomplishment that I have waited for since 2009. I am so excited that I can hardly stand it. God has been blessing Pro Deo abundantly these last 5 years and this year is no different. Pro Deo is growing, changing, improving, and figuring it out...I have been all in from day one. From the first trip to the police station with the girl who was reporting a rape and she detailed every last detail of that horrific night and my ears that were hearing if for the first time. I sat in a room with a police officer and heard the vulnerability of her story. She was brave and I was scared. From the countless girls that have taken pregnancy test in my bathroom. To the kids that I have sat in their hospital rooms after they attempted suicide. To the girls nights that looking back were some of my favorite times. To the amount of coffee that has been drank for the sake of getting to the bottom of hearing a kids life story. From the break up stories, the bullying, the abuse, the brokenness. Their stories have changed me, burdened me, and the love and respect I have for them and the journey that they are on is indiscribable. The LEAST I can do for them is to be 100% sold for this cause. When they graduate from HS they call us, when they get their grades up our phone rings, when the heartache comes they reach out to us, when they get grounded they still desperately long to be with us, when they get scared they reach out to us. It is not because we have created a dynamite program that you can't find anywhere else. I truly feel that it's because every kid that walks through my door is loved. They are loved despite their label that society has given them. Thief, druggie, nerd, slut, whore, gay, poor, snob, theater kid...come one...come all my arms are open. Come and bare your soul and I will wrap my arms around you. I will listen, be burdened and take your story to the only person I know who can heal you, Jesus. Along the way I hope to make you laugh, I hope to give you the resources you need and help you succeed in life but if you walk away with NOTHING else the fact that your story was heard and you knew you were loved is enough for me.

So the vulnerability of the sign...

I'm scared of what a sign means. A sign means we can be found. Up to this point if you knew about Pro Deo it's because someone brought you or told you. A sign allows for all to stop in and find Pro Deo for themselves. This is exciting because it means that kids and parents alike can find us and it's not this abstract thing of where we are. With this it also mean more community partners needed, more case management needed, more staff, more volunteers.

A sign means it's not just Kylie and Andy's baby that can eb and flow with wherever we go. It means that it is rooted in the community, that it is here to stay. It means that on bad days I can't dream of packing up shop and moving the whole operation to Hawaii- lol. The community is just as invested as Kylie and Andy to love these teens. They are on the front lines too!

A sign means training. It means training for my volunteers and staff and people in our community so that they know how to give the same kind of attention and love that Kylie desires every teen that walks through the door to have. It means creating a safe environment despite the labels. Creating a safe place even if your archenemies is in the same room. It means helping teens break down the walls and become vulnerable as well.

The vulnerability of the sign really means...

If I am completely honest and vulnerable my biggest fear of putting the sign up is that what happens in the event if Pro Deo ever fails and has to close its doors. Then there's that sign looming for all to see where one family put their hopes and dreams. It will be a symbol of where kids used to go to be heard, be challenged, and loved. Before if Pro Deo closed up shop teenagers would have been effected  (it would have been just as devastating) but they would have half expected it because they are used to being abandoned by people in their journey. But now it wouldn't just be teens effected. Pro Deo has become such a community endeavor that teens, churches, businesses, community leaders, and community members would all be effected. It would be a sad day! I am fearful because not a single other youth center has succeeded in lees summit since 1960 or 70's I think they tell me (people like to tell me this). Many have tried, many have failed. I know this, I am aware and yet I still ordered the sign.

So the sign brings fear for me, it also brings trust, excitement, and ready for what God has on this journey. I am already praying for the teens we will meet this summer and next fall. Already praying for the volunteers that will step forward, for the donors that will feel led to give and make our dreams a reality and praying for the community that has acknowledge that the teens in Lee's Summit are worth investing in. They are worth being vulnerable with. They are worth the late nights, the countless facebook messages and text messages. They are worth the tears. They are worth the smiles. They are worth the joy that their presence brings to our community.

The sign for me is me being brave. I'm being brave, trusting that God's got this! I am trusting that He is in control and all my fears of growth and what's to come is beautiful to Jesus.

So for everyone else Pro Deo gets a sign that has our name, that lights up in the dark, and looks super cool...for Kylie it's a symbol of following Jesus with reckless abandonment and and putting all my hopes, dreams, and desires into what He is doing and the sign is a symbol of my trust in Him.

I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that this sign is a reminder of just how small I am and how big Jesus is...The sign leaves me feeling vulnerable