What would fall look like in our house...

I love fall...I love the changing colors, the smells, the clothes for fall...it is a beautiful time! So, it got me to thinking about what would fall look like in our home (don't think I'm over ambitious- it's not like we are going to do ALL of this in one year-lol).

 * Themed nights at home (One night our theme might be apples- so we would make home made apple sauce, apple prints, apple butter, light an apple cinnamon candle. One night the theme might be pumpkins and we would make pumpkin cookies, read a fun picture book about pumpkins, and then of course end the night with carving pumpkins). 

* Day trips to the pumpkin patch, dogtoberfest, corn maze, apple festival...

* There would be costumes, candy, and trick or treating...

* There would be bonfires, cookouts, and campouts cuddling under fleece blankets

* Making thanksgiving traditions 

Days filled with cooking/baking, art, books, and fun outings...there is never a dull moment in fall...

but even with all of that some of my favorite nights in fall are sleeping with the windows open and then staying in our jammies all day...

I can't wait to experience fall with children and get to share all the fun of fall with our family :)

Meet the family...

With adoption or conceiving a child one of the things I am most excited about is introducing our child to our family and friends!

I am excited for them to meet my mom- They will shop, bake, sew, lots of cuddles, and go to the lake. My mom LOVES kids and works as a secretary at a local school for 3-5th graders. I have endless memories of fun times with my mom and I know that she can't wait to be a grandma and will always be excited to hang out and do fun things but also give lots and lots of hugs and cuddles!

My Step dad is great too! He has a huge heart, loves his family very much!He loves the outdoors, loves fishing, hunting, building things, refurbishing things, and traveling.Regardless if we have a boy or a girl I am sure camouflage and fishing is in their future.

My Dad is no longer alive but I have lots of great memories with him as well- He loved to cook, and socialize with people, and throw parties. He also liked helping others, motorcycle riding and golfing. I know that my mean mini golfing skills are because of him.

My Step mom lives in Arkansas and although that is one of my favorite drives, we don't get to see her often. I am hoping that when our child is here that changes. She is very loving, is a great cook, loves dogs and babies, loves to knit, play games, and even taught me how to crochet.

On Andy's side:

His Mom- Crazy great! She loves art, cooking, making projects, and finding deals online :) She will always amaze you with the new things she is able to find. You will find a new appreciation for games, spelling, geography, and becoming a life long learner. I can't wait for you to hang out with her and partake in all of her new adventures

Andy's dad- He is a huge blessing! He is quiet and usually stays to himself but he is gentle and kind and when he hugs you, you know he means it. When he tells you that he loves you, you know it. He is a hard worker and will always help if we are in a bind ( I cant tell you how many times he has been to the house to work on things). He also like to be outdoors, do home repairs, and hangout with his grand kids.

That's just our Parents...then you have brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles...the list goes on and on...

One of the things I LOVE about the idea of having a child is thinking about them growing up with sooooo many people that will love them, teach them things, will be at all of their school functions/sports/etc, and will enjoy being active in their life.

That's our family in a nutshell...

Whirlwind of emotions...

I'm sitting here at Starbucks sipping a white mocha (one of my favorite past times) and I am overwhelmed with all of the emotions in me. I am in love with the idea of being a mom, I am scared of heart ache through the adoption process, my mind swirls with ideas...is it possible I am in love with my future child and I haven't even met them, don't even know if they have been conceived...but I find myself dreaming, a beautiful dream- somethings that are very detail oriented that people would be laughing at me for thinking about and other things about just how life would work...
Here's a peek into my crazy dreaming, lots due to pinterest and my background in teaching-

I dream about teaching my child how to read. I have piles and piles of children's books and when I look at the books I am excited about the ideas of teaching my child how to count, their colors, how to share, their letters, and then all the fun activities you can do with books. I think about art projects to do with the seasons/holidays. I think about traditions that I want to make sure our family has (for instance I know that as a family we will do community service throughout the year- we long for our child to grow up serving other people and seeing the beauty of taking care of the world they live in). I dream about bedtime routines and what Saturday mornings will look like. I dream about how to make meal time fun, what vacations we will take, how we will discipline in a loving way, and how we will urge our child to reach for their dreams!

I dream about what outings they will do with their grandparents- will they go to the pumpkin patch, will they sew together, will they go to the lake? All of these things excite me greatly...

I dream about how to tell them about people I love like their birth family, my dad who passed away, my grandfather, and all the other people that influence the way we love them and will shape our character in our family...

I dream about family outings that Andy and I will do with them- Will we go hiking, to the drive in, build forts, have pj days...

I dream about if our baby is a girl will she be girly with ruffles and bows and lots of pink or will she be a tom boy and love to be outside or be both...if it's a boy will he love mud, legos, and trucks or would he love the arts...

And then I get reminded that as much fun as it is to dream that is all it is right now is a dream and I go back to reality and back to returning e-mails but thankful for this happy spot in my mind where I go to dream of my family in the making and what's to come...

HAPPY FRIDAY!

A Journey of a life time...

Soooooo, many of you know that we have been on this journey of trying to conceive for years now...I can trace back to being 13 years old and begging God for a baby. Looking back, I am go glad that He did not bless me with that when I first prayed...however I am 28 (29 in February) and I can't think of anything I want more now in my life than to be a mom. All these years and the desire only deepens :)

I wanted to give you our back story so that you would know more about our journey:
When I was in 8th grade I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and my doctor at the time told me that it would be difficult to conceive a child. Fast forward to being in college and my best friend at the time (now husband) and I were chatting about the future and I told him I was scared about telling my future husband about the potential to have difficulties getting pregnant, he then looked me in the eye and said, "Kylie, any man that God brings to you is going to want to adopt." His reassurance gave me a peace. Fast forward to present day and we have been off of Birth Control for 5 years now and with no getting pregnant. We have been actively trying for two years, have tried infertility treatments, and have had no luck. Andy and I always knew, even if we were to conceive a child, we wanted to adopt children. We love the beauty of adoption and feel that it is the perfect addition to our family. We started the adoption process in May of 2012 and it feels like it has crept by.

I don't think people truly understand how painful it is to want something so bad and yet be so out of control of the situation.

In June it was our 5 year wedding anniversary and what I wanted for our anniversary was to get a baby :) Although it's not that easy, that day andy and I went our separate ways and prayed diligently for a child and told God that we were ready to be parents if He would trust us with a child.

I remember that night, talking to andy and him reading the vows he had written to our future child. I remember being so giddy and in awe that I had married a man that loves me in the way that he does and  at the same time is so intentional about loving our child.

Andy said that he believed there needed to be ceremony around Adoption. That it wasn't just "getting a child" but that it is a life changing experience to embark on. He said he felt like we needed to find a community of men and women that would pray for us, ask us the hard questions, and really examine if we were ready for adding to our family. From that time Andy and I started making dinner and coffee dates with the men and women we had chosen to be praying for us in this journey.

We have no idea what joy and excitement is ahead or what heart ache lies in our journey. We are confident of one thing through this all and that is at the end of the day God gets the glory for this process, for His timing, for his story weaving...

We are looking forward to where God leads us on this journey and what He has laid ahead of us, confident that it is more than we could have asked or imagined-