Wednesday, October 17, 2012

A Journey of a life time...

Soooooo, many of you know that we have been on this journey of trying to conceive for years now...I can trace back to being 13 years old and begging God for a baby. Looking back, I am go glad that He did not bless me with that when I first prayed...however I am 28 (29 in February) and I can't think of anything I want more now in my life than to be a mom. All these years and the desire only deepens :)

I wanted to give you our back story so that you would know more about our journey:
When I was in 8th grade I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and my doctor at the time told me that it would be difficult to conceive a child. Fast forward to being in college and my best friend at the time (now husband) and I were chatting about the future and I told him I was scared about telling my future husband about the potential to have difficulties getting pregnant, he then looked me in the eye and said, "Kylie, any man that God brings to you is going to want to adopt." His reassurance gave me a peace. Fast forward to present day and we have been off of Birth Control for 5 years now and with no getting pregnant. We have been actively trying for two years, have tried infertility treatments, and have had no luck. Andy and I always knew, even if we were to conceive a child, we wanted to adopt children. We love the beauty of adoption and feel that it is the perfect addition to our family. We started the adoption process in May of 2012 and it feels like it has crept by.

I don't think people truly understand how painful it is to want something so bad and yet be so out of control of the situation.

In June it was our 5 year wedding anniversary and what I wanted for our anniversary was to get a baby :) Although it's not that easy, that day andy and I went our separate ways and prayed diligently for a child and told God that we were ready to be parents if He would trust us with a child.

I remember that night, talking to andy and him reading the vows he had written to our future child. I remember being so giddy and in awe that I had married a man that loves me in the way that he does and  at the same time is so intentional about loving our child.

Andy said that he believed there needed to be ceremony around Adoption. That it wasn't just "getting a child" but that it is a life changing experience to embark on. He said he felt like we needed to find a community of men and women that would pray for us, ask us the hard questions, and really examine if we were ready for adding to our family. From that time Andy and I started making dinner and coffee dates with the men and women we had chosen to be praying for us in this journey.

We have no idea what joy and excitement is ahead or what heart ache lies in our journey. We are confident of one thing through this all and that is at the end of the day God gets the glory for this process, for His timing, for his story weaving...

We are looking forward to where God leads us on this journey and what He has laid ahead of us, confident that it is more than we could have asked or imagined-

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