Which phone call was I waiting for?

It happened, that phone call I have been waiting for this past year came...there have been several phone calls or text messages I have waited to hear this past year and each time I am like, "Oh, that's the one I was waiting for"

It started with a text message on October 16th of 2012: "Hey, I don't know if this is to personal or not but where are you and Andy at on trying to conceive?" to then the text message of "I have a young woman who is pregnant and has a healthy baby girl due in February, can I give her your contact info?"

Fast forward to November 27th of 2012 and the text message came: "Do you have time to come and see me?" Which then proceeded to me coming to walk in the front door of an office, walking down a long hallway and into a beautiful room where a young girl sat and looked up at me and asked if we would consider adopting her baby girl...the raw emotion that I buried deep down that day so I would not look like a fool blubbering like a big ole baby for fear of scaring this young woman with my emotions and longing for this sweet child. Then the phone calls, tears, and emotion as I called my family trying to make something feel for real...

Over the next 12 weeks there was several phone calls and text messages that meant a lot to me, meant that we got to see the sonogram, get to know our new extended family, and continue the journey of checking in on this young woman that was now my new favorite person to get text messages or phone calls from.

Fast forward to February 24th of 2013 and the text message came: "Mommy I think Kadence wants to meet you today" to the phone calls, text messages, and facebook messages to spread the good news. There was emotion there too but the surreal-ness of the whole thing made for the emotions everywhere

then on February 28th: the call of court, text messages with the social worker...Temporary Custody was ours and there was emotion...

This whole time I have been trying to control my feeling, controlling my excitement and balancing it with fear. I have been loving with my whole heart but balancing it with what if's. I have been living in raw emotion but burying it deep within for the just in case...Andy and I kept saying that it just hasn't sunk in...it's something that we can't process or explain

Fast forward to yesterday September 26, 2013 and getting a call from our lawyer: "Kylie, do you have a minute? I have a few things I want to run by you. Are you free November 22nd? (I am not sure what my response was supposed to be- I am pretty sure EVEN if I had something planned I would cancel so that I could go to court) Okay that is the first available date we can get you in for finalization. " I jotted it down on a random piece of paper and was trying to get Andy's attention as he headed out the door and showed him my scrap of paper and was trying to make some motion like this is our court date- lol. It seemed logical at the time. I get off of the phone, Andy is gone, and Kadence is waking from a nap and I go and pick her up and I lost it-like ugly cry lost it...there was such a release, everything I had bottled up for almost a year seeping out. Kadence was looking at me very confused and I picked her up and told her do you know that I get to be your forever mommy? You don't even know what this means for me or you? Temporary no more my friend, yep no more temporary custody...you're mine. And she looked at me with her two tooth grin and spastically moved her hands with a "haaaaa-ahhhhh" and I knew she approved. I scooped her up in my arms and snuggled her close...and felt a breath that was deeper than I have breathed these last 7 months. A breath of freedom as I start to see the light...at the end of this journey...the part of the journey where we stop focusing on the journey of adoption and focus on the journey of being a parent...

THIS was the phone call I was waiting for...all of the other ones added up to make this one extra special. Almost a year in the making from hearing that Kadence even existed to this phone call...to know that she gets to be ours forever!

I am a VERY happy mommy, a VERY emotional mommy, and a VERY blessed mommy!